Ohio State University Fact Sheet

Family Life Month Packet 1999

Family and Consumer Sciences

Campbell Hall 1787 Neil Avenue Columbus, Ohio 43210

Fact Sheet

Restraint From Sexual Activity: How Can Parents Help?

FLM-FS-16-99

Cindy Bond-Zielinski, Extension Agent, Family and Consumer Sciences/Community Development, Carroll and Harrison Counties

According to Minnesota Search Institute, 42 percent of surveyed youth believed that it's important not to be sexually active. In a recent study, the Journal of Marriage and the Family examined parenting behaviors related to sexual risk-taking behavior among adolescents. The research looked at factors that help adolescents make responsible sexual choices.

The research suggested the following three factors play a role in the sexual risk-taking behaviors of adolescents:

1) parental support

2) parental behavior control

3) parental psychological control

The research from this study found parental psychological control is an important factor in teen sexual activity. The study also suggested there is a subtle but important difference between control through guilt and the use of other-oriented induction, which helps children understand the consequences of their behavior. Specifically, adolescent males and females who are sexually active have parents who monitor them less. Knowing where and with whom the teen is and what he or she is doing conveys to teens that parents care.

How Can Parents Help?

At home, parents can talk with their child about the risks related to sexual activity. If a parent does not feel comfortable discussing this, he or she should admit it and provide age appropriate books or seek out information together with their teen. Parents can encourage children to talk with other adults they know and trust about various topics.

Be clear about boundaries, values, and reasons. Most teenagers are actually relieved to hear their parents say, "We expect you not to have sex as a teenager." Explain why and be open to questions.

Look for opportunities in the media to initiate the topic of sex. Discuss your reaction and ask for the child's opinion. Be certain that the child has the opportunity to listen to health professionals speak about sexual issues.

Teach and model appropriate ways to show affection. Emphasize mutual respect and responsibility. Children do as they see more often than they do as they are told.

Parents can initiate problem solving techniques in daily behavior. By allowing children to solve problems and analyze consequences they will be more able to handle decision making about difficult risky behavior.

· What happened?

· What caused it?

· What might have changed that?

Asking a series of questions can help a child to better see the connection between what is happening and what he or she can do about it.

Tell children that if they ever find themselves in a situation where they feel pressured to have sex, they can call you and you'll come to get them--no questions asked.

Monitoring children without being intrusive will help to ensure low-risk sexual behavior among teens. Parents can help children recognize how they are feeling and how to express and cope with different feelings. Parents can practice effective communication skills and take special time each day to listen and communicate with their children.

References

Benson, P. L., Galbraith, J., & Espeland, P. What kids need to succeed: Proven practical ways to raise good kids. Minnesota: Search Institute and Free Spirit Publishing. pp. 158-162.

Rodgers, K. B. (1999). Parenting processes related to sexual risk-taking behaviors of adolescent males and females. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 61, 99-109.

For more information, visit the Human Development and Family Life website at: http://www.hec.ohio-state.edu/famlife/